Teaching Kids How to Control Their Anger

I came across this article, How Inuit Parents Teach Kids to Control Their Anger, from KQED awhile ago, saved it to my list of parenting resources, and I am just now getting around to reading it. I was impressed by Inuit families' approach to teaching anger management. Here are my takeaways:

1. Teaching children how to control their anger begins with parents learning and practicing these skills. Parents serve as models; kids learn emotion regulation from us. "When we yell at a child - or even threaten with something like 'I'am starting to get angry,' we're training the child to yell. We're training them to yell when they get upset and that yelling solves problems."
2. Use storytelling to teach discipline. We learn best through things that are interesting to us. And stories, by their nature, can have lots of things in them that are much more interesting in a way that bare statements don't. I frequently use picture books to teach important social skills, such as resolving interpersonal conflicts and managing strong emotions.
3. Use drama to provide children with an opportunity to practice controlling their anger. It is important that this take place when they are not actually angry. By practicing having a different response or a different emotion, children have a better chance of managing their anger during hot-button moments. "That practice is essentially helping to rewire your brain to be able to make a different emotion [besides anger] much more easily." In wellness classes, I often have student role play scenarios where they are faced with a "trigger" - something that would make them angry, frustrated, etc. - and practice self control and problem solving strategies. 

For more information, check out the article linked above. And do not hesitate to reach out if I can be of help: jstevenson@huusd.org. 

Inside Out

In a prior post I referenced the Pixar film Inside Out. The story is told primarily from the perspective of feelings - joy, sadness, fear, anger and disgust - inside the mind of an 11-year old girl named Riley. Uprooted from her midwest life, Riley is faced with the challenges and emotions of adjusting to a new town, San Francisco, and a new school. For more information, check out the review on Common Sense Media, a great resource!

I have used Inside Out as a teaching tool across the grades in my wellness classes. In the 5th and 6th grades, students created "islands" to represent their interests and values. In the primary grades, I used the film to explore emotions and what makes us feel happy, sad, angry, etc. As you are cooped up inside, this could be a great way to do something fun as a family while using it as an opportunity to do some social-emotional learning! For some ideas, check out 5 Teaching Ideas Connected to Inside Out. Lessons cover identifying, talking about our feelings and "self talk."

Sesame Street: Managing Strong Emotions

Sesame Street has been on the forefront on providing content around social emotional learning, covering topics such as exploring emotions, getting along with others and solving problems. They have also created content for children dealing with issues related to the coronavirus. In the video, Belly Breathing with Rosita, Rosita shares her frustration with not being able to play with her friend Elmo. She teaches kids how to calm down by focusing on their breathing.

Also check out the following resources from Sesame Street. If you know of other resources, please let me know!

• Caring for Each Other: videos, online games, printable activities, ebooks and tips on how to talk to your child about COVID-19 and other related topics.
• Sesame Street in Communities: topics include missing friends, managing uncertainty and the and proper hand-washing techniques.
• Sesame Street videos: via Facebook Watch.

Physical Activity...So Important!

Regular, daily physical activity is so important for children and adults! The benefits are numerous, to many to cover here, especially during times of increased stress. Be it indoors or outside. I have been doing my planks each morning and going on walks around Montpelier, where I live, in the evenings. (Side note: the city is so surreal. Very quiet, almost desolate. People avoiding each other, crossing the street, changing directions, etc.)

If you are looking for exercises to do with your child, check out the YouTube channel from the PE teacher at Moretown and Waitsfield, Ally Bataille (linked below). She is planning on posting videos regularly. You can subscribe and her new videos will magically appear in your inbox!

Lastly, keep in mind that physical does not have to look like an exercise routine. Anything that get your body moving is important. I even count vacuuming!

Ally Bataille's Workout Extravaganza! (YouTube)

Games to Improve Executive Functioning Skills

Looking for ways to spend the time at home with your family, perhaps a much-needed reprieve from the negative reports that permeate the news and social media feeds? (Tip: if you can, avoid excessive exposure to media coverage.) If so, check out the following options for games that are fun and build executive functioning skills. Most are available from Amazon.

Executive function is a set of mental skills that including working memory, flexible thinking and self control. We use these skills every day to work, learn and manage daily life. It enables us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions and juggle multiple tasks simultaneously. It is the cognitive part of self regulation.

Games to Improve Executive Functioning Skills (Pathway 2 Success)
Best Learning Games for Kids: Boost Their Executive Functioning Skills (Nurture Thrive)
8 Games That Can Improve Your Child's Executive Functioning Skills (Understood.org)

(Source: Understood.org)

Exercise and Self-Regulation

Self-regulation is the ability to manage and respond to our emotional experiences. It is the ability to calm down when upset or cheer up when feeling down. When a child experiences a lack of self regulation, they are unable to diffuse their negative emotions. These emotions can take control leading to over-the-top reactions, outbursts or meltdowns. A lack of self-regulation skills cam also make it difficult for a child to cope with stressful life experiences.

One way to improve self regulation is through regular, daily exercise. For ideas, check out the following (click image to view larger):

Other resources (thank you, Ross Greene!):

• Cosmic Kids Yoga: Geared more for younger children (PreK-4).
• Sworkit: A customizable workout program.
• FitnessBlender: Free workouts and yoga for older children and adults.

(Source: He's Extraordinary: Tools for Raising an Extraordinary Person)

Zones of Regulation Book Nook

I am a big fan of using literature, picture books in particular, to teach social skills. Just ask your child, I frequently use read alouds in wellness classes, small groups and when working individually with students. Check out the Zones of Regulation Book Nook for great resources to introduce and reinforce the Zones self-regulation concepts. Interested in checking out a title? If so, please let me know! I will figure out a way to get it to you in some form (digital perhaps?).

Zones of Regulation

We have been talking about and utilizing the Zones of Regulation to support students with self regulation. Through Zones, students have learned how their bodies provide them with clues that can help them identify how they are feeling and how they can manage their emotions using a variety of strategies.

Instead of overwhelming you with too much information all at once, I will post regularly with Zones resources. In the meantime, ask your child what they know about Zones. Allow them to take on the teaching role with you as student. I look forward to hearing what they remember!

Here are some Zones-related resources:

• Information About the Zones
• Zones Chart

Deep Breathing for Kids

Interested in learning how to practice deep breathing with your child? If so, check out Deep Breathing Exercises for Kids! It's a great resource with numerous deep breathing exercises and related craft projects. It also provides a kid-friendly review of the benefits of taking deep breaths.